thinking on an empty stomach

she feels empty, but she doesn't know where the hollow feeling is coming from

it could be her heart--too many pieces of it bought a one way ticket to halfway around the world and I don't know if you've ever seen the shape of a human heart, but it makes a complicated puzzle even when all the pieces are accounted for. the first pieces were lost when she wasted too much time with a white knuckle grip on his every word and it wasn't long before she was reaching for something that was too far gone... and that was only the beginning.

but maybe the emptiness she feels resides behind her eyelids.  blank stares, glances at the ceiling, or too many hours spent watching trashy reality TV.  Her eyes are glazed and unfocused, unaware that each blink keeps time with the ticks of the clock--a constant countdown, eager to see the future unfold.

maybe the emptiness has engulfed her mind.  she longs for a spark of creativity, but the lights ran out of energy and now it's too dark in here to change the bulbs.  she searches her mind for beautiful moments of the past but sometimes the photographic memories are blurred and faded, too far gone.

maybe the emptiness she feels is the hunger in her stomach... she can't decide if she's paranoid about the freshman 15, or if she's just hungry for something more than counterfeit PB&Js and frozen pizza and Spongebob Mac&Cheese.  in the meantime, she fills voids of happiness with barbecue chips, but it's always short-lived.

she wonders if there's possibly a lack of oxygen in her lungs, as breathing has never been her strongest suit--blame it on the asthma, blame it on the altitude of the mountains she climbed only to find disappointment at the top. she's drowning in fear but knows she has nothing to be afraid of

but maybe the emptiness she feels, isn't emptiness at all.

maybe the emptiness is waiting patiently

for something more beautiful than the past

to fill in the cracks.