goodnight little one

she is young

she is sweet

she has tantrums

but, I mean,

she's only 3.

she's sensitive

tonight she cried watching Inside Out

and then I cried watching her watch Inside Out.

"are you okay?" I ask 

"yeah I just need to wipe my tears" she says

she's tough 

she disciplines the dog 

which is twice her size

and sometimes she makes her big sister cry

she's lovable 

she makes me read to her every night

and somehow always ends up

sleeping in my bed

when I read to her

I dream of motherhood

and I know it's the best thing in my life ahead 

so I lie here

on an air mattress across the country

awake past midnight, cursing jet lag 

and all I hear are little breaths--

the inhale exhale of a tiny body right beside me

fluttering eyelids

and sleepy snores

with every toss and every turn she gets a little closer

and usually I'd want some space, 

but not when it comes to something as sweet as her

because I know one day, I'll have my own little girl too.

Goodnight Elin.