paris is in ashes
and i'm aching for a clean slate
a blank canvas
isn't that why artists come here in the first place?
maybe somewhere along the way
I got lost in the taste of the eclairs
and the architecture
and I spent too much time
in front of the mona lisa
maybe I stopped noticing the cracks in the side walks
or ignored the places where it smelled like big city
but now,
paris is in ashes
and i'm wondering...
is this where i'm supposed to be?
stuck in the complacency of the way things used to be?
because somewhere along the way, alta june changed
somewhere between transferring tassels
and first kisses
and game day screams
and late night drives
and loss
and grief
and more grief
and heartbreak
and healing
and 3 hour road trips
and falling in love
and getting a real job
alta june grew up.
so maybe it's time to rise from the ashes,
to explore new horizons,
to fill my passport with stamps
of places i've never heard of,
to try speaking languages other than french
and write about things that matter to me, today.
because i've changed. . .
i'm not the same a.j. that arrived in paris four years ago.
the things that mattered to me then
and the things that matter to me now--
they're different.
and i'm different.
but i'm still
alta june
and I still have things to say.
