love is just a bunch of things I hate

For me, falling in love is like

A tongue twister

You can try and try

And the words still won’t come out right

And the only reason for a tongue twister

Is to make you fool

But love does that too

For me, falling in love is like

Internet Explorer

I’m still waiting for a connection

I'm getting impatient

For me, falling in love is like

Claustrophobia

Thoughts of you are closing in around my heart

And my skin feels too thin--

Like you can see my every heartbeat…

Especially when the racing starts

For me, falling in love is like

Airport security

I’m sending my soul through the scanner

Hoping not to raise any red flags…

As you’re watching my every move

I feel like you can see right through me

And this feels more like airport insecurity--

the way this tile floor feels extremely cold

without my shoes on

For me, falling in love is like

Bad Chinese food.

It’s nauseating.

But I'll admit, I still love Chinese food.

First it was “hey, do you wanna order some takeout?”

And now it’s 3AM and I’m love sick on the bathroom floor

Feeling feverish thinking about good-byes that I’m dreading to say

But I’ll feel better tomorrow

For me, falling in love is like

Running a marathon—I’ve never ran a marathon… 

but I’m two shallow breaths away from an asthma attack

and I keep running because for some reason, 

reaching the finish line is more important than my ability to breathe.

I’m wheezin’

I’m trying to keep up while trying to slow down

I don’t want to tell you how I feel…

I just bought these brand new Nikes

hoping they’d make me “just do it”

but I’ve already got 4 blisters, and I think these shoes are too big.

On the other hand, I noticed that you’re wearing converse--which you keep pristinely white, by the way--and you leave intricate footprints with every step

I’ve never been able to walk with that much perfection

For you, falling in love is also like

Running a marathon—

Except for you, it’s more of a leisurely jog

You’ve done this a thousand times

You’re passing everyone up in this race

You do it without even breaking a sweat

And I’m afraid that means your slow jog

Will always be faster than my sprint

And that my marathons

Are just another walk around your block

confessions of an awkward angsty teen

The truth is 

My mouth doesn't know how to hold its own tongue, 

and my spontaneous lips don't know when to stop.

  My teeth chatter when I'm nervous, 

and when anything geeky

or athletic

or musically talented

or attractive

or really anything labeled

"teenage male"

 comes around, 

my weak jaw can't do anything but drop.

My knees turn into rubber,

My hands go numb,

My cheeks go piping hot,

My ears steam... a lot like my rice cooker when it's all:

YO, I'M DONE.

My words turn really stupid, like they did in the line that preceded this one,

Or my words just don't sound like words at all,

Which still sounds stupid.

(but still probably not as bad as that rice cooker line)

And even when I don't say a single thing,

this eye-contact we're sharing 

feels a lot like INTERNAL SCREAMS

And to be honest, 

I've decided that this love feeling is a little nauseating.

But maybe I just have a weak stomach.

Or maybe I have the flu.

I mean, tis the season, right?

But wait,
 Valentine's Day is next week too.

Awe, shit.