crumpled paper

words I never said echo inside my brain

and everyday I celebrate the anniversary of what could have been

apologies stack up on my to-do list

and another list lengthens of your mistakes I need to forgive

I'm doing my best to not let winter find its way into my chest like it did last year

because breathing in frost has suffocated me everyday for the last 15 months

and I crave the taste of cleared air

my mind is a crumpled paper

my heart a letter I refuse to send

because what am I supposed to say

when I feel like I have nothing left?

these words have expiration dates

and they are long overdue 

but I sit here with
crossed out feelings & scribbled sentiments

wondering how to let you know that

somehow I just need to feel whole again