white noise

tests

papers

projects

finals

bills

assignments

credits

alarm clocks

bank accounts

passing biology

idiot guys

loading the dishwasher

roommate drama

emptying the dishwasher

jobs

going to the gym

eating

laundry

looking nice

taking notes

my march madness bracket

going to class

gas money

cleaning checks

getting out of bed

they seem important--

but it's all just white noise.

you think it matters...

and a week ago, so did I.

i never knew how fast the world could flip upside down. 

i know it's always rotating

ever-changing

but for me it took two seconds--

two syllables that changed everything

the sky fell that day.

and it felt like it didn't fall on anyone but me.

first my heart felt nothing

but my panicked lungs hyperventilated

then I felt everything

and with a heart that full, I suffocated

have you ever heard a word become a time-bomb?

I have.

and when I looked around to see the potential casualties, I saw myself included.

I saw the fear in dad's eyes.

two syllables have never scared me more:

can-cer.

since then, everything else has been white noise.

I love you Dad.